A desperate wish

Every time I listen to this particular song on my playlist, I'm taken back to a point in time. I can clearly see the overcast skies and the clouds now tumbling over the western ghats outside my single room window, 35 past 1800. I was just back from another day in university and had plopped onto my chair. Terrible things had happened over the summer and I had just plummeted deeper into depression. I'd been relying on my favourite music to help me out of it and I'd never been more poised to make the change happen. I was never more inspired and was on the cusp of executing this new regime for myself, when it all unfolded.

I'm taken back to this point in time and I wonder. I wonder, if , there would have an alternate ending to that phase in life. I wonder how much it might have changed me. Sure, I'd be depressed for a while longer but I knew I was just another weekend away from taking a leap of faith. I wonder what I might have been doing. I wonder I'd be still where I am and if I'd be as helpless or rather biding my time cautiously, careful not to trod on the wrong pair of feet. I wonder if I'd have amassed some more knowledge. I know I wouldn't have ever known her the way I did and it made so happy that I wished I was transported to that point in time.

My life would have definitely been different.

I wonder if I'd have cut down on procrastinating.

I wonder...