My life, I feel, is like an app that has been in beta stage for the past ten years. Each time I don't think before speaking or look before leaping, I have committed grave errors which are quite stupid, really, but grave nevertheless. The error is committed, the brunt for it borne, and I, drown in shame and the liquefied remains of my shattered ego, which by the way has deflated quite considerably. 

I leave this premise wiser and on the lookout so as to not commit such an error but as my concentration is unbelievably fickle, this has happened more than once. Recently however, the lesson seems to have sunk in and introspection has pitched in a tent. Every time I go over what I've done, waves of shame crash over me. I cannot bring myself to believe that I was so immature or so stupid. I wish I had a bit more control on my tongue or fingers for that matter. I realized that I just blurted out whatever came into my head, without giving it a second thought.

I cannot impress upon people just how important it is that carefully chosen words or sufficiently thought upon choice of wording is the way to go with strangers or acquaintances. I have observed this off of a colleagues' behavior. With friends, you need not put a filter on yourself for they like you for who you are. Changing yourself in front of them is changing the person they became friends with. 

I know I can think and behave like the logician I pride myself to be. 

I think the time is ripe to run one final test before turning this app into final version from beta.

This isn't something everyone can relate to. These thoughts have been gnawing at my heads' wall for a long time now. Had to get it out is all.