Her

“I sometimes imagine what it would be like to love you, what it would be like to have you love me back. All that anger and all those walls break down. I imagine what it would be like to be the only guy who you open up to, let in beyond your guard. I imagine what it would be like to be loved silently by someone so broken and hurt, but yet the only piece that completes my world”

I’ve only been left breathless by one thing in my life when it came to written material. That was the narration of the love story of two people in an Indian fiction novel, an exceptionally good one at that. Then I read this. Back then I was happy for her. That some guy felt so much, so deeply for her. Someone sent this to her on Valentine’s. Now, 5 months down the line, I am quite mad at that fellow because this is a masterpiece. I couldn’t have said it better and the knowledge that as of now nothing I can say can trump this only makes me angrier. But I find solace in the fact that I feel this way every waking moment until my consciousness shuts down for the day. Maybe someday it’ll come to fruition, maybe it won’t. Life just doesn’t work that way does it? Because at the end of the day, all I can do is, imagine. Not sometimes, but each and everyday until it drives me insane. Keep it wrapped in and hidden in a corner of my being, a testimony for having felt something so dangerously wonderful for someone so fragile, so broken inside. So beautiful and over her destructive pain, managing to leave a smile. I may be seriously fucked in the head when I am writing this, then again I maybe the most sane and level headed I ever was and probably will be. But regardless of how things pan out, she will always hold that special place in my heart because I have never felt more close to being a normal person and hoped for normalcy to prevail in my life, as much as I have when she is around. I have never dreamed as much as I have when she is around. I have never wanted to do something for someone as much as I wanted for her. No one has made feel like it’ll all be okay one day like she has. I’ve never gotten so much satisfaction from making someone laugh as much as I have when I made her laugh. That laughter which sounds like a new lease to life. It’s very nature is redemptive, and someday it’ll be mine to keep.